Q.

WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I THINK I WANT TO GET A DIVORCE?

A.

I would first strongly encourage you to go see a marriage counselor. A trained marriage counselor can help many couples learn to communicate better and get to the root of their problems. Of course, both parties must be willing to participate in marriage counseling for it to work properly.

If marriage counseling is not an option for you, then I would recommend you begin to gather together and make copies of as much financial information as you can, such as previous tax returns, you and your spouse's most recent pay-stubs, bank statements, credit card statements, mortgage statements, and statements of any IRA's, deferred compensation, retirement plans, etc. Sometimes this information is hard to get once the other party knows you are going to file for a divorce.

Q.

WHAT ABOUT MEDIATION?

A.

Mediation is an ideal alternative to litigating a divorce. Rather than hiring two attorneys to battle it out in court, the parties can hire one unbiased and impartial mediator who will help the parties arrive at their own mutually acceptable martial settlement agreement. As a result, the parties save time, money, and a great deal of "wear-and-tear" on their emotions. Again, however, BOTH parties must be willing to participate in order for the mediation process to work.

Q.

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GET A DIVORCE?

A.

California law requires a 6-month waiting period before a judge may grant a final "judgment of dissolution." (Dissolution is simply another word for "divorce,") After one of the parties files a petition for dissolution they must have the petition and summons "served" on the other spouse. Once the other spouse has been served with the papers, the 6-month waiting period begins to "countdown."

Q.

WHY DO I NEED A LAWYER? CAN'T I JUST FILE THE PAPERS MYSELF?

A.

You can certainly fill out and file the necessary papers yourself. And if you and your spouse can agree on the division of your property and any child custody, child support, and spousal support (alimony) issues, then you are very lucky indeed! There are a few circumstances where I believe an attorney is absolutely necessary.

One is if you find that you cannot work things out with your spouse on your own. If you think your spouse is not being fair or is trying to pressure you into an agreement that doesn't seem right to you, then you may want to at least have a consultation with an attorney to see if you are making a wise decision. By "fair" I mean your spouse agrees to split everything (including time with the kids!) more or less 50/50.

Another situation where I highly recommend getting an attorney is when the other party has hired an attorney. That can be a very intimidating position to be in and can often lead to "lopsided" and unsatisfactory property or custody orders.

The bottom-line is, when in doubt, it's best to consult with an attorney.

Q.

HOW MUCH WILL GETTING A DIVORCE COST?

A.

This is a tough question to answer without knowing the details of your particular situation. I can tell you that Sacramento County Superior Court currently charges over $300.00 just to file the petition for dissolution! As for attorney's fees, a simple, uncontested divorce with no property and no kids will cost much less than a situation where a home was purchased during the marriage and the parties had children together.

The more complex the case -- that is, the more property involved or the more the parties argue and are hostile toward one another -- the more it will cost, simply because the attorney will have to spend more time sorting things out and making court appearances. Generally speaking though, youcan expect to spend anywhere from $750.00 (no arguing, no property, no kids; just preparing the paperwork) to $5,000.00 and up. Usually it's something in between. However, if a case has to go to trial because the parties and their attorneys cannot resolve one or more of the issues, then you can expect to spend much more.

That is why it is to your benefit to try and work out as many of the issues as you can with your spouse. It would be foolish to spend $500.00 in attorney's fees to fight over a stereo that might be worth only $200.00, for example. Sometimes it makes more sense to "give in" on a few things just to "buy" yourself some peace and move on with you life.